Stages of Emotional Awakenings
Sometimes emotional awakenings come softly, maybe wondering, "what am I doing with my one, precious life?" Sometimes emotional awakenings drop us to our knees with the death of a loved one or loss of a relationship. However, an emotional awakening presents itself; you can receive it gently or with all your quills raised to defend yourself. Here's my take, and let me know what you think in the comments!
The first part of step one is forgiveness, and you cannot have forgiveness without grief. Grief can be for someone lost, but also for a lost self, a loss of the way we lived. When reality fails to meet our expectations, we can be angry, depressed, and perhaps start to see our life as a struggle. Bringing awareness to the grief allows the path to forgiveness to begin. Forgiveness is often tricky, especially when forgiving ourselves for harm self-inflicted. Allow yourself the same love and grace you would a dear friend. When we begin to forgive, we can chart a new course with an intention. We can start to move with purpose.
The second part is potentially the most difficult because now that you have an intention, it is up to you to stay the course. And boy, are we easily sidetracked. So keep reminding yourself that you are doing your best until you know better, and then you will do better. You begin to see traits you don't care for (in yourself or others), emotions you hide away, maybe some bad habits you would rather not have. Work to become aware without judgment or expectation.
The awakening phase is all about letting go and letting be. You realize that everything everyone else does has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them, so nothing is personal. You understand that everyone carries a version of you in their head, and none of the versions are any of your business. This phase is my personal favorite. To release the weight of judgments of others because their assessments say everything about them and absolutely nothing about you.
In the fourth stage (final isn't the right word, since all of these stages will continue to repeat indefinitely), you practice peace with reality instead of creating narratives of how you want life to be. And this doesn't mean that you don't continue to work to be a better person, friend, partner. But it does mean that you can have contentment with the present while you work for the future. You can see your faults of the past without riddling your present with guilt. You love yourself, exactly as you are, perfectly imperfect. No one is coming to save you; you are here to save yourself.
